So far so good

Well, it seems that I'll have some time to relax before beginning my first posting, Paeds. Which is apparently one of the more difficult rotations....gulp!

For the last 2 days, have been listening to briefings from various departments. Hope I can remember half the stuff I heard. Paperwork's almost done tho(everything here's done on paper!)

Signing Up for Service

Wow, life's been a whirl since returning from the combined Induction +BTN course for new House Officers.

Today, I stepped into the hospital for the first time as a doctor...well sort of. They're still plenty of forms I need to fill in and numerous briefings to attend before I'll be allowed on the ward. Can't believe the amount of paperwork I've had to fill in. Written my dad's and mom's IC numbers so many times now I can practically recite them in my sleep.

Just found out my first posting will be Paeds. Looks like cries of screaming children will be ringing in my ears for the next couple of months. Will write more later, need to get some shut-eye as I've got loads to do tomorrow.

First day's over....Day 2 of work is coming. Let's see how it turns out.

A Fork in the Road

With 5 years of medical school behind me, I find myself here once again. Time to ponder the future, to reflect upon past mistakes and make amends, to look ahead with hope and anticipation.

I've always thought, at the age of 25, that I would know what I wanted in life. But on this day I wonder, "What lies ahead?" I've always wanted to specialize; but in which field? So I embarked on a journey of progressive elimination. It would definitely be a field with direct patient contact; meaning specialties like Radiology and Pathology are out. I hate kids, so no paediatrics for me. Hate crime scenes, so good bye forensics. Not too keen on entering courtrooms and explaining why it wasn't my fault that a mother died/young child will be spastic for life(cerebral palsy)/hysterectomy(removal of uterus) needed to be done...so not O&G either. Can't stand watching someone else doing something while I sit down idly for hours, so Anesthesiology's probably not right for me either.

That leaves Surgery and Internal Medicine. Admittedly my interest in pursuing surgery emerged from watching the heroes of the Operating Room on TV battling to save a patient’s life and ALWAYS prevailing, but there something very exciting about being able to stick your hands into a fellow human beings body and see the problem with your very eyes. It's almost like entering a trance-like state. Unfortunately, in medical school the teaching of surgery it reduced to "Internal Medicine for the mentally challenged'. When in doubt, cut it out.' 'If you can't see it, it isn't a (surgical) problem!’

Then came Internal Medicine. Of all my rotations in medical school I enjoyed this one the most. Yes, the reading requirements were astronomical, but I really liked knowing what I was doing. Internal Medicine reignited my interest s for the basic sciences of Physiology and Pathology, and I could finally see the relevance of my pre-clinical years to my future career. There were the mentally-stimulating case discussions, the consideration of a myriad of differential diagnosis and the selection of the most appropriate, the referrals from other specialties to discuss puzzling cases and the joy of figuring them out(and bragging rights that come with it!) :). On the flipside, there were frustrations too...not being able to offer treatment because the drug was too expensive/was not available, patients missing from follow-up, difficult patients with whom compliance to a treatment plan was near impossible to achieve(Not a problem in surgery: "You sleep, me cut, we good")

What does the future hold? Will I become a decisive scalpel-wielding surgeon or a cerebral, stethoscope-wielding physician? Comments please! Would love to hear from practising doctors out there their thoughts on their respective specialties.

Construction in progress

Hmm...this site looks kinda plain. Will work on it after settling some stuff regarding medical registration and future employment. For now, this boring, generic blogspot template will just have to do.

Liberation!

"Oh my god...I'm actually done, I'm no longer a medical student!!!"

The title reflects exactly how I feel right now. Five years of work, all coming to an end. Being able to finally see the great white light after trudging through all the filth that litters the dark, wet tunnel.

The journey has been long and laborious. At times I questioned my own sanity for wanting to put myself through it all. After all, there are many jobs other than medicine; and there is more to life than a career. I still remember being the naive, bright-eyed lad entering medical school for the first time and thinking 'Wow, this place is great!'. I recall entering my clinical years and doubting myself at times when the going appeared to be getting too tough. But most of all, I remember being enveloped with the dizzying feeling of exhiliration whenever I could make a difference in a patients life, no matter how small that difference might be. The smile of a recovering child, the kind words of a grateful wife or the joyful tears of the first-time mom - these were the things that kept me going, that provided me wth a sense of gratification I have yet to find elsewhere.

It's kinda funny, really. Just 2 weeks ago, there were so many tasks to be accomplished, so many books to read, so many uncertainties about the future. Now, all that has melted away. For the first time in five years, I can sit back and truly relax without the sinking feeling of guilt that my time should be better spent memorizing drug names and side effects, reading that newly released clinical guideline or practising clinical skills at the bedside. My life is mine once again. Time to get out of the medical enclave and explore the real world. Catch up with long-lost friends. Improve physical fitness. Rediscover old interests and explore new ones. Smell the flowers, see the beauty of the morning sunrise, hear the songs of birds, feel the cool breeze caressing my skin.

At long last, I get to live like a normal human being again. My tour of duty is complete. Aaaah, paradise!!!